Cheater, Cheater, Pumpkin Blueberry Bread Eater

So it’s been like a minute since I’ve been here and I’m sure I’m just about to get in trouble for not updating.

Big things have been happening. BIG. OK, not really, but maybe, kind of. We made it through our month of no cheats…almost. We cheated 2 days early because we actually had a babysitter and got to go out for a date night. It was just a little cheat (frozen yogurt) and it only made me a little upset (because it was 2 days early) so I’m OK with it.

Other important things: Paleo baking. Yeah, it’s totally possible, it’s still not a great idea, but it’s possible. I’ve been making bread, and if you know me, you know I don’t bake. But I was craving baked goods so badly I had to figure that shit out. I’m probably going to take a break from anything baked for a bit because I don’t think it’s actually helping my ass shrink at all…pretty sure the pumpkin blueberry bread actually made that plateau. So I’m stepping away from the almond flour and towards pork, or chicken, or salmon, something that has benefits other than making me feel happy on the inside.

Um…big cheats…don’t do them…they suck. I guess that’s not entirely true. The cheats don’t suck, recovering the next day totally does. After not having specific things (i.e. chips and salsa, chicken fingers, French fries, beer, you get it, it was the husband man’s birthday, so I wasn’t just being a lard ass) having them all in one night is A LOT of fun. Waking up the next morning is a big old bummer because apparently your digestive system gets pissed when you fill it with crap. Doesn’t really seem like a news flash, I anticipated it would be bad, I just didn’t realize how bad it would be. I pretty much felt like I was dying all morning. It’s been a full day and I’m just now feeling like I’m recovering. I guess it goes with the bad motto I’ve been living by lately “seemed like a good idea at the time”. Probably won’t be doing any major cheats ever again, at least not any time soon.

And now I’m off to eat garlic ginger pork with some sautéed bell peppers, hopefully that helps with my tum tum. Happy day after birthday husband man ;-)

It's a Lifestyle...Right?!

Week two accomplishment: I didn't kill anyone...wait, I think that was week one, I guess every week that I don't kill someone is a good week.

Once again this week, like a sad little raccoon, I kept sticking my hand into places that would get me in trouble: goldfish bowl, pasta pot, rice pot, candy jar. But, unlike a cuddly forest animal, I have learned how to let go, much to my dismay as I did not partake in any of the previously listed uh-mazing foods. Shiny and/or delicious things be damned, I will learn self control and discipline and do what I've set out to do. And what I've set out to do is to go along with this whole lifestyle change, since I keep being told that's what this is, NOT a diet.

The basic idea behind this whole deal lies in the thought that, through the process of evolution, our bodies became adapted to process specific types of food: meats, veggies, fruits, you know the natural stuff that after the zombie apocalypse will need to be obtained through the hunter/gatherer lifestyle again. Also, in the whole history of the human race, agriculture and all the things that go along with it are pretty new and our bodies have yet to adapt to a place that we can effectively breakdown and utilize things such as grains, legumes, beans, certain sugars and oils along with a handful of other things. Our bodies are magical instruments that do things all on their own without being told to do so and do them in a way that makes sense to keep us alive. By filling our bodies with things that we can't use, we essentially set ourselves up for failure without even knowing it's happening. And to my understanding, this is what has been happening with food and I'm finding more and more information pointing towards unprocessable (it's a real word, I just used it) food as the reason for many of the health problems that are frequently encountered.

So, what to do about it?! Eat freaking delicious Paleo muffins while pondering that question. At least that's what I did. Remember the donuts? Yeah, well after the cravings I went on a hunt to find Paleo donuts, and I totally did it, but then I realized I don't have a donut pan in which to make said donuts, so they became muffins, and they were yummy! They were really yummy. Probably too yummy. Even with coconut in them. But I've determined over the last two weeks that the taste of coconut is not what I didn't like about coconut. It was how it was always cut in those weird slivers like it was shredded, the texture threw me off. But I've been using coconut oil to cook in, coconut butter as a peanut butter replacement (kind of, not quite as delicious), and once you break down those chunks of hard coconut, it's actually not that bad. I had my doubts. And honestly I had some major fears because I remember being traumatized by coconut as a child...at least I think I do.

This whole process continues to go well. I don't know if I'm feeling better because of the new way we are eating or if I've just convinced myself that I'm feeling better to make the way I'm eating seem more beneficial. I do legitimately find that I'm not as hungry throughout the day as I have been previously. And I've also found that I don't get that super tired 2:30 severe need for a nap. I mean I still complain about being tired, but it's less legitimate than it used to be because in general I am sleeping better at night, which is pretty huge. But again, I don't know if that has anything to do with the diet or if it's just because my body is getting old and I need more rest. Who knows. Maybe both.

So here I am, two weeks down and 2 1/2 months left in this trial period. I'm curious to see at what point this "lifestyle change" really blasts into effect and if it will stick as a permanent change, because I kind of think it might. As long as the husband man doesn't spend too much time and effort planning our cheat days.

Made It Through a Week

Week one accomplishment: I didn’t kill anyone.

This not only goes for the husband man who decided this diet would be amazing, but also for all the people around me who are eating things I am not allowed to have. You know who you are you bread eating, frosting licking, candy sucking jerks.

Seriously though, it wasn’t nearly as bad as I thought it was going to be. There were some stressful moments, like Sunday night when I realized that not only did I need to figure out what to send with my husband man to work for dinner, but a specific breakfast and lunch plan as well. Normally I would help him figure out his 'big' meal of the day and then he would fend for himself the rest of the day, it works for us, and I like it. However no longer. Then there was that moment when I stuck my hand in my kids bowl of goldfish and had to knock those little fishies out of my hand right back into her bowl rather than partaking in their certain complete deliciousness. And the donuts…oh the donuts. Once they made a prominent feature in my dreams (Monday night) they were all I could think about when I got hungry. Then there was that jerk of a “friend” who sent me pictures of donuts with this question “Is this paleo?” Curse him. All in all though, not a terrible week.

The husband man and I went out to eat and, though it took some scrounging around on the menu, we found meals that were paleo and didn’t taste like crap. Honestly, nothing that we’ve made hasn’t been delicious. I don’t think we’re actually that far off from what we were doing before. Yeah, we cut out all our bread and rice. Yeah, I really like beans. And yeah, cheese is one of the most important food groups. But somehow we’re still managing to survive. Hundreds of thousands of people before me have done it (you know, historically), and turned out alright, so I figure I can do it and I’ll be OK too.

Oh, and I’ve been reading more about the science behind this craziness and I’ve got to admit, there might just be something to it. But that's for another time when the fact that I've made it a whole week is less impressive.

WTF Am I Doing Here??

This blog is to journal my venture into the world of eating Paleo. My darling husband decided that, due to the fact that he can't lose his last 10 pounds, he would be going on this diet. Then, as the one who takes care of food in the house, I decided that I was not going to have to make 2 sets of meals a day, therefore the rest of us would be joining him on his venture. Not gonna lie, I was pretty pissed. While I still have quite a large set of thighs and an enormous ass, I hate to admit that it could have anything to do with my carb intake. I love me some bread, pasta, and rice, all things which are forbidden in the world of Paleo. Goodbye my friends, I will miss you, and if this diet works like it says, I should probably never see you again, though leaving you will be worse than any breakup I've ever had. Needless to say, I fought this decision tooth and nail in order to keep all my yummy friends around. But after reading more and more about the diet itself and the way of life it promotes as well as how it positively interacts with the benefits of working out, I decided it just might be worth it. There are definitely a lot of things that seem really counter productive to me about it, like eating a ton of meat and cooking with straight fats, but I'm hoping that as I learn more it will make more sense. Plus, I've heard there's science behind it.

So now we are off on this journey. I will be learning about a new way to cook, new things to eat, reinforcing the health benefits I'm seeing from working out (hopefully *fingers crossed*), and seeing if this is going to be a sustainable way of living for the Bowley clan.

Wish me luck...

This is my very first all Paleo menu for the family. Now if only I would get off my lazy behind and head out to the grocery store.